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Author Topic: Unhappy Thread  (Read 161024 times)

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Offline jonclox

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #675 on: February 24, 2017, 08:59:22 PM »

Worth trying an osteopath, Jon. I've not had much luck with GPs with my back. The osteopath has sorted me out a few times.
Thanks Malc but as even getting in and out of a car is agony  Driving or even being a passenger in a car  is not going to be easy.
Ive just found one within 2 miles of us and will contact them on Monday
John A GOM personified
N Gauge can seriously damage your wealth.
Never force things. Just use a bigger hammer
Electronically and spelling dyslexic 
Ruleoneshire
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=17646.0
Re: Grainge & Hodder baseboards
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=29659.0

Offline daffy

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #676 on: February 24, 2017, 10:08:07 PM »
Jon, if the pain is that bad I suggest A&E as soon as possible. Did the GP have the injury X-rayed? It could just be a trapped nerve or disc, but it might equally well be a fracture, and two days agony to wait for someone who might not be able to help will seem like a lifetime to your wife.

I would call an ambulance now if I were you if you have no other way of getting her to hospital. She should not drive herself.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2017, 10:12:40 PM by daffy »
Mike

Sufferin' succotash!

Offline Mito

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #677 on: February 25, 2017, 09:54:05 PM »
+1 to above. There is no point in suffering any longer than is necessary.
M y wife suffers too from reduction in lung capacity, a non specified lung disease. I don't know what it's called in English. She has been in hospital for a week for an op and strangely during that time she has used no oxygen nor taken any cortisone. Normally she has 2 to 3 hours a day on oxygen and a quarter to half a tablet of cortisone. I'm not suggesting you have an op :no: . I can give you details of the medications she has if you are interested. The latest have certainly improved her capacity.
You know you're getting older when your mind makes commitments your body can't meet.
https://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=24101.0 Off on a journey

Steamie+

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #678 on: February 26, 2017, 06:40:13 AM »
Hi Rod,

First, every sympathy for your situation - redundancy is not a pleasant process to be caught up in. I've been through it too many times - on both sides of the fence, as an employee, as a manager (more than once) and as a husband and as a parent. It's always a horribly difficult situation which is extremely hard to handle because of the emotions flowing around.

I'm a chartered accountant, not an HR professional, so I can't give you professional advice as such on this.  But daffy is absolutely right - CAB will be able to help you, or a trade union rep, or, ideally, a friendly HR manager if you or any of your family or friends know one. They can talk to your specific financial circumstances, contracts, rights, etc.

If you don't want to seek out one of these, I strongly recommend reading these pages on  gov.uk. They may answer your questions, point you in a helpful direction, or even set your mind at rest that you aren't being mistreated. Even if they just prepare you for a face-to-face chat they will be helpful.

It's impossible for me to know exactly, but FWIW this is my take on the issues that you have flagged up:
  • giving 30 days notice is not part of the legal rules, so I assume that it is the minimum notice period in your contract of employment. But, since you have worked in your job for over 2 years, you are legally entitled to more: one week for each year of service (to a maximum of 12 weeks). It sounds like someone didn't realise the details of your situation at first, which isn't ideal, to say the least. IMHO, it's inexcusable. :veryangry:
  • Many companies, perhaps most, don't actually require people to work this notice period out - they pay a PILON (Payment in Lieu of Notice) and release you, taking the view that long-faced employees hanging on with  their hearts not in the job are no help to anyone, and in certain circumstances can be actively damaging/dangerous. Yours isn't taking that route. But since they would probably prefer not to pay you, and you apparently would have preferred to go earlier, there may be room for a little give and take over this. But, but, but - take specific advice on the knock-on consequences if you go down that route.
  • you are entitled to "reasonable" time off for job hunting. But my understanding is that you are only entitled to be paid for a small amount of it. If you are on a five-day week, that is for just two days in total (40% of a week)  So if you took a day off each week for the 10 week period, you could be docked 8 days' pay (10 days - 2 days). Although he or she may have put it with all the tact of a runaway elephant, your contract manager may have been doing you a favour with their advice - if you go for interviews outside work time, you won't be docked pay.
Best of luck - this phase of tension, distrust and uncertainty over dates, entitlements and plans is the worst part emotionally speaking for most people, mainly because of the sense of not being in control of your life. It will pass, and you will emerge into the sunlit uplands of endless railway modelling...  :)

Firstly Thank You so much for your reply Nick, it is very encouraging to get so much friendly helpful advice. There was mention of PILON, but they weren’t very clear about what or how it would be implemented i.e. If i would need to work it / how much i would paid and it may reduce my redundancy payment, how it wasn’t explained clearly to me. They kept on saying did i understand what was being said, all i could think at the time what are they saying to me, (its you said 30 days notice and now 10 weeks and i may not get what we mention in our 1st meeting) my head was all over the place.

2nd i asked do i have to take a position they may find for me that i feel is not suitable, (at the pst meeting the HR person said “No if you don’t feel like it is for you, you don’t have to” then in my 2nd meeting so turned around and said yes you do other wise i would lose any right to redundancy pay. It really does seem has they don’t won’t to pay me at all and what me to work my notice. Is it true that they only have until the end of the notice when they 1st said i was in danger of being made redundant which is 30 days and will end on the 15th of March, they have until then to try to find me a suitable position within company.

Thanks again for your help Nick

Rod.

Offline Nick

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #679 on: February 26, 2017, 05:59:31 PM »

Firstly Thank You so much for your reply Nick, it is very encouraging to get so much friendly helpful advice.

No worries. I've pm'ed you in reply, rather than post what turned into a long message into this thread.

All the best
Nick
Nick

The perfect is the enemy of the good - Voltaire

Offline Calnefoxile

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #680 on: February 27, 2017, 11:59:45 AM »
Thanks Malc but as even getting in and out of a car is agony  Driving or even being a passenger in a car  is not going to be easy.
Ive just found one within 2 miles of us and will contact them on Monday

Jon,

I suspect she may have damaged her Coccyx, right at the base of her spine, it's the remnants of 'our' tails.

My missus did pretty much the same and she was in agony for weeks, as they reckoned that she'd fractured it. There really is not much that can be done except strong painkillers and tea & sympathy.

Regards

Neal.

Offline RailGooner

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #681 on: February 27, 2017, 12:15:58 PM »
Thanks Malc but as even getting in and out of a car is agony  Driving or even being a passenger in a car  is not going to be easy.
Ive just found one within 2 miles of us and will contact them on Monday

Jon,

I suspect she may have damaged her Coccyx, right at the base of her spine, it's the remnants of 'our' tails.

My missus did pretty much the same and she was in agony for weeks, as they reckoned that she'd fractured it. There really is not much that can be done except strong painkillers and tea & sympathy.

Regards

Neal.

I fractured my coccyx around a decade ago. Now (still) need my orthopaedic cushion when sitting anywhere for more than an hour, car, sofa, work. I have this cushion:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B007W2MX1I/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
“We are indebted to those soldiers who served with courage and distinction to bring peace to Northern Ireland,” UK Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson said. “The welfare of our former service personnel is of the utmost importance.”

Per Ardua ad Astra | Mens Agitat Molem | Victoria Concordia Crescit | Utrinque Paratus | Caveat lector

Offline jonclox

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #682 on: February 27, 2017, 01:28:44 PM »

The pain has now shifted down to her ankle area but anti inflamitary  tablets are at last seeming to be taking effect.
She is still waiting to see  what the  oesteopath has to say about things :doh:................(and you think that I am stubbon)  :doh:
John A GOM personified
N Gauge can seriously damage your wealth.
Never force things. Just use a bigger hammer
Electronically and spelling dyslexic 
Ruleoneshire
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=17646.0
Re: Grainge & Hodder baseboards
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=29659.0

Steamie+

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #683 on: February 28, 2017, 04:17:31 AM »
Hope she gets some relief soon Jon, she must be in a lot of pain, it’s not easy sitting when you have hurt the bottom of your spine and it seems now it has travelled down to her ankles, i suspect it is hard for her to walk now .

Hope you wife gets better soon, take care Jon.

Steamie+

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Re: Unhappy Thread/ Feeling Down
« Reply #684 on: March 02, 2017, 07:43:07 AM »
Well i have tried to be positive this week but it doesn’t seem to be working, had these little pains most of the week and feeling tired a lot, Anne bless her has tried very hard to get me going but the work situation is really getting me down, hopefully seeing the Grandsons this weekend at the Preston show will bring me back to my normal self, in fact i know i will. Not sleeping much at all, getting up every hour to go to the loo, i do get back to sleep almost straight away, but no energy for anything. Got at least another week and a half to go before i find out if they what me to work another 10 weeks or let me go on the 15th March.

Come on the weekend and the kids will make me smile they always do.     :)

Offline austinbob

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Re: Unhappy Thread/ Feeling Down
« Reply #685 on: March 02, 2017, 08:30:41 AM »
Well i have tried to be positive this week but it doesn’t seem to be working, had these little pains most of the week and feeling tired a lot, Anne bless her has tried very hard to get me going but the work situation is really getting me down, hopefully seeing the Grandsons this weekend at the Preston show will bring me back to my normal self, in fact i know i will. Not sleeping much at all, getting up every hour to go to the loo, i do get back to sleep almost straight away, but no energy for anything. Got at least another week and a half to go before i find out if they what me to work another 10 weeks or let me go on the 15th March.

Come on the weekend and the kids will make me smile they always do.     :)
A good model railway show followed by a couple of pints of non track cleaning IPA might help you feel better.
Hope things get resolved soon. There's nothing worse than uncertainty about important matters.
 :sorrysign: :beers:
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Offline Newportnobby

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #686 on: March 02, 2017, 09:42:46 AM »
I'm sure the Preston Show will cheer you up, Steamie, but I'm not sure about the couple of pints of non track cleaning IPA.
That might increase the loo visits to every ˝ hour! :worried:

Steamie+

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #687 on: March 03, 2017, 03:30:52 AM »
I'm sure the Preston Show will cheer you up, Steamie, but I'm not sure about the couple of pints of non track cleaning IPA.
That might increase the loo visits to every ˝ hour! :worried:

I am sure the show will Mick, the Daughter will be there to stop me spending to much too, though i may get something for the boys..lol.    :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Offline Rob H

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #688 on: March 03, 2017, 10:55:07 AM »
@Steamie+
I really feel for you having to go through this trauma, but have you sought out any professional help yet ?
It seems to me that you're putting yourself through a lot of pain and anguish, perhaps unnecessarily, seeking advice could pay great dividends in the future.
If you've already sought advice and it hasn't helped, I'm sorry and really hope things work out for you,
Rob.
They say that love is more important than money but have you ever tried to pay a bill with a hug ?

Offline jonclox

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Re: Unhappy Thread
« Reply #689 on: March 07, 2017, 01:36:19 PM »

Worth trying an osteopath, Jon. I've not had much luck with GPs with my back. The osteopath has sorted me out a few times.
Thanks Malc but as even getting in and out of a car is agony  Driving or even being a passenger in a car  is not going to be easy.
Ive just found one within 2 miles of us and will contact them on Monday
Things are finally improving and Ann was able to drive a couple of miles today......still in miscomfort but the pain is far less as long as she takes things slowely
John A GOM personified
N Gauge can seriously damage your wealth.
Never force things. Just use a bigger hammer
Electronically and spelling dyslexic 
Ruleoneshire
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=17646.0
Re: Grainge & Hodder baseboards
http://www.ngaugeforum.co.uk/SMFN/index.php?topic=29659.0

 

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