Confusing the poor lad in Halfords

[Zogbert Splod]

I worked with a man who had spent some time as a Halfords employee.  He used to tell of the silly questions that customers would present.  He set himself up with one of those old pocket calculators, the type with the glowing digits.  It had been wired up to show two certain words inviting the reader to 'go away' (involved urination and travel)...  It connected to a small electronics box in his pocket with a wire leading to the calculator in his top pocket facing forward.  A touch on the switch on the lower box caused the 'message' to flash on for a split second.  Probably not enough to be read but possibly enough to get the subliminal message across.  He had come to work with me following his manager trying to borrow the calculator, and on finding the wires from it, demanding to know what was going on.  I don't think the boss had a sense of humour.

[Sprintex]

I worked in Halfords on Saturdays as a teenager, but back then (mid 80's) the staff were all avid car fanatics and knew what they were talking about. Sadly these days most just seem to be uninterested sales persons. Mind you, Main Dealers aren't any better sometimes . . . 

Once went to Gates Ford to get a few bits for my Sierra XR4x4, when we got to "Engine size?" and I answered with "2.9" the pizza-faced oik behind the counter told me they "never made a 2.9 Sierra mate" 

In fact he argued with me for quite some time that it MUST be either a 1.6, 1.8 or 2.0L (obviously never heard of any of the V6-engined ones then ), and it was only when I was just about to physically drag him over the counter and shove his head under the bonnet outside to prove it that the Parts Counter Manager intervened and quietly informed him that his car knowledge wasn't quite up to scratch and he really should listen to customers a bit more


Paul

[DELETED]

We have a big store and now our Halfords is a bike shop with anything automotive moved out the way.  Difficult enough to find a bulb or wiper blade now, nevermnd the paint counter. Halfords is just a cheap* bike shop for me now (*although you still do better elsewhere).

[Greybeema]

Or a packet of bubbles for a spirit level

I was wondering when this one would come up.  Technically the glass construction with the oil and the bubble in is called the bubble.  So actually you can buy bubbles for your Spirit Level - and I did once to prove it.

Smellies tools near Victoria Station.

Interested in the alternative paints though - is there more?

[elmo]

When I worked in Her Majestys dockyard our store had some paint tins with professional looking labels marked '(insert colours) stripped paint'.
The best moments though was when some gullable newbie was sent to the bow of a ship to get a spur lash

Elmo

[Ozymandias]

I worked in Halfords on Saturdays as a teenager, but back then (mid 80's) the staff were all avid car fanatics and knew what they were talking about. Sadly these days most just seem to be uninterested sales persons. Mind you, Main Dealers aren't any better sometimes . . . 

Once went to Gates Ford to get a few bits for my Sierra XR4x4, when we got to "Engine size?" and I answered with "2.9" the pizza-faced oik behind the counter told me they "never made a 2.9 Sierra mate" 

In fact he argued with me for quite some time that it MUST be either a 1.6, 1.8 or 2.0L (obviously never heard of any of the V6-engined ones then ), and it was only when I was just about to physically drag him over the counter and shove his head under the bonnet outside to prove it that the Parts Counter Manager intervened and quietly informed him that his car knowledge wasn't quite up to scratch and he really should listen to customers a bit more


Paul

Don't get me started on "professional" garages...!

I took my Mini (real one, not a BMW) in to a garage I'd been recommended because it wasn't running right - stuttering and misfiring all over the place. It's a 1.3 SPi (Single Point Injection).

After a day, they rang back to say they couldn't find any problem, but their Mini "expert" had looked at it, "tuned the carburettor", and that "well to be honest mate these old cars do splutter a bit."

I did point out that a) it had never run this roughly before and b) being an ECU-controlled injection motor it doesn't actually have a carburettor or indeed anything you can tune (OK, except the valve clearances, but I'd already done that!!). Blank looks of "dunno mate" all round.

When I took another look under the bonnet out of desperation later to see if I could identify the problem, I heard a very loud TICK! TICK TICK! and saw a dirty great spark, which should have been going to the plugs, arcing across from the coil to the engine block. One new coil later, she runs perfectly.

garages!!!

[Sprintex]

Clare's Sierra went into a "professional repair centre" after an altercation with a garden wall (it was that or hit the fast-moving VW Sharan heading straight for her!). Didn't think it looked right when it came back and there was a knocking noise. On investigation found front strut/spring was off an Escort (2" shorter) and the nuts weren't done up either resulting in stripped thread


Paul

[Ozymandias]

Clare's Sierra went into a "professional repair centre" after an altercation with a garden wall (it was that or hit the fast-moving VW Sharan heading straight for her!). Didn't think it looked right when it came back and there was a knocking noise. On investigation found front strut/spring was off an Escort (2" shorter) and the nuts weren't done up either resulting in stripped thread


Paul

That could have been lethal! I hope they fixed it and grovelled quick smart!

[Sprintex]

You think I'd let them near it with a spanner again after that?


Paul

[GeeBee]

Should have asked him for a can of tartan paint or maybe a long weight

I know I shouldn't laugh but the 'tartan paint' has been successfully used on at least one person over the years.

Hi, Mick Many years ago I had a Triumph Herald That Was Tartan Red
nothing new under the sun
Graham