Don't get caught with your trousers down in front of a ticket inspector...

[Mr PJ]

So, who has seen the new Irnbru advert?

You can find it on line by searching for irnbru advert train or something similar.

Luckily never been caught out in one of these new fangled sliding door toilets myself... though have been on trains when other people have been!

What can I say about the advert? Hysterical, but then I am told like a typical male I have a childish sense of humour...
Still the ticket inspector is quite nice, most ones I have met would be wanting to issue a penalty fare. And the cyclist. God knows how he manages to pull that face - quite scary.

Cheers,
Paul

[Malc]

Classic. I used to have quite a collection of Iran bro adverts from when I worked at STV. They were really funny.

[scotsoft]

Here is the link for those interested 


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh2yZf8F-60

cheers John.

[Bealman]

At least the toilet is clean which is more than can be said about some trains I've travelled on to Sydney 

[Chetcombe]

  I assume it's still 'made in Scorrrtlan fram gerrrdurrrs'

[Steve Brassett]

According to a recent documentary, Scotland is one of a very small number of countries where a local soft drink outsells Coca Cola.  It may be the only one, but I am not sure.

[edwin_m]

On visiting a VTEC accessible toilet this afternoon, I saw no less than four notices reminding people to press the lock button to lock the door. 

Is it still the case that if you lock the door but aren't sure if it is locked or not, and you press it again, the door opens? 

[Agrippa]

According to a recent documentary, Scotland is one of a very small number of countries where a local soft drink outsells Coca Cola.  It may be the only one, but I am not sure.

That was the position a couple of years ago, not sure if still the same
but I think so.

[Newportnobby]

On visiting a VTEC accessible toilet this afternoon, I saw no less than four notices reminding people to press the lock button to lock the door. 

Is it still the case that if you lock the door but aren't sure if it is locked or not, and you press it again, the door opens?

Are you sure that's not the Vertical Transit Escape Control (aka ejector seat) button, Edwin?

[mark100]

Real Railway info  Back in the 80s we were constantly hounded by a T.T.I (Travelling Ticket Inspector) by the name of Grenville. Every passenger train that had a non heat freight engine hauling it, he would just like Mr Ben, appear just like magic on these trains and start ticket chasing us. There was no mobiles, texts or emails but he knew what was working what and where to go, to get on those trains.



Mark

[Komata]

Ah wot memories: Although it relates to a Guard, rather than a Ticket Inspector (the latter, in New Zealand, being the Guard's immediate superior officer), what follows may be of interest. It is BTW a 'true' story; 

The year: 1974, the time 1705, and the overnight intercity Express Passenger Service had pulled into a suburban station to make a scheduled stop.  The two 'train' loco's were Da (Dee A) class diesel electrics. Although it was winter, these locomotives were not equipped with carriage-heating boilers,  HOWEVER  there was a steam heat van immediately behind the engines.  This 'mobile boiler' generated enough steam to heat the entire train.  The van's boiler was generating a good head of steam and as a result the 'safeties' were just lifting.- situation normal  for this train, and at this stage of its journey. .  I was talking to the locomotive driver, while looking back towards the rear of the train prior to giving the driver permission to depart.

Suddenly from the front door of the carriage nearest to and immediately behind the steam heat van (ie, the carriage at the front end of the train; nearest the locomotives) burst open and four brilliantly coloured 'apparitions' burst out, all on the run.  Imagine if you will four James Brown, (the American singer) look-a-likes, complete with built-up shoes, 'afro' hair do and wearing brilliantly-coloured, irridescent, multi-sequinned lycra suits of 'electric' red, yellow, green and blue!! These sights' were Polynesian (Pacific island)  males in their late teens, they were 'dressed to the nines', they were  the height of 'cool', they were spectacular!!   They were also on the run - fleeing if you will - but from what?

The four young men scatted in four different directions and one (wearing a green suit, and amazingly built-up shoes ) dived over the edge of the platform and went UNDER the steam heat van!!  The clearance between the bottom of the 'van and the top of the rails: 12 inches - if you were lucky!! (and, as I said, the 'van was 'working' - steam all over the place).  How he made it under the 'van and through to the other side I have no idea!!!  That particular individual was last seen running at high speed away from the station.  He did however leave a built-up green shoe behind in his haste to depart.

And what had caused this spectacle? It transpired that, as was his want, the train Guard had decided to start his ticket-checking early, and had commenced this from the back of the train.  The four 'rainbows' were riding free - and evidently were going to a party being given by their girlfriends at a town further along the line.  They had dressed appropriately, and were very much at the height of contemporary 'youth' fashion.  As the guard came towards the front of the train, the 'free-riders' ran out of room, and, with no where to go, took the only option left; they 'bailed out' and fled...

The 'flight' described above was of course all over in seconds, and with no further 'excitement' to be had, the Express proceeded on its way.  Discrete enquires established the reasons why the event had 'occurred' and where the function was being held, but the railways did nothing, and the matter was allowed to quietly die.  We did however also hear that the 'girlfriends' ere singularly unimpressed with what had occurred and that the four males concerned had been unable to afford bus fares to either take them to their original destinations OR to get back to their homes.  A fourteen mile-long walk, on a cold night was the result... That was deemed to be suitable 'punishment' for what had taken place....

For a long while however, a single very 'built up' irridescent-green  men's shoe remained in the station's 'lost property' section; for some odd reason, it was never claimed...

As I said, NOT while not concerning a Ticket Inspector, but certainly involving tickets.  I trust that it has been 'entertaining' - and as I said, it's actually 'true' (and 'funnier' as a result - at least to me)

[steve836]

This talk of train toilets reminds me of a story going the rounds when I worked for BR at the Railway Tech. Centre in Derby about a trial run of the APT. and a journalist who was on board.
Being taken short he went to the loo (which was v. high tech but hadn't had the plumbing fitted) so after trying a multitude of buttons and being unable to find the pan and being desperate he stuck his backside out of the window. Just as he finished the train (doing about 100mph) passed a platelaying gang, one of whom was unable to resist the temptation  and lifted his shovel hitting the offending bum as it went past. The journalist was knocked out of the window and right across the compartment.
When the train stopped and the passengers alighted he was asked what he thought of the new train to which he replied "very nice,but the bum wiper's a bit rough!"

[Agrippa]

Reminds me of a Spike Milligan tale told on tv years ago as if it was
a real event. Man rushing for train has attack of diarrhoea on the way to
the  station, he can't travel in such a state so rushes into a clothes shop and
explains his predicament. The assistant tells him not to worry and after a few
minutes comes back with a parcel of replacement clothing. The man makes the
train with seconds to spare , rushes into the toilet ,flings his trousers out of the
window followed by his underpants. He then opens the parcel to find
a woman's pink cardigan.....