Joke heard on Tele

[Bob Tidbury]

There was a large earthquake ,In a field all the cows had fallen over But the Bull  was still standing the farmer asked the bull how come he was still standing ,The bull said We Bulls wobble but we don't fall down.
This was told by a copper on Police Interceptors the other day.
My grandson thought it was really funny.
Bob

[scotsoft]

Try this one on your Grandson Bob.

Good King Wenceslas walks into a fast food shop and asks for a pizza.
The guy behind the counter asks:
"Do you want your usual, deep pan, crisp and even?"

cheers John.

[Caz]

OMG not another corny joke thread.   

[Bob Tidbury]

Yes Caz but if it makes someone laugh even if it was my grandson Alfie it is worth it Its harder to make someone laugh than to make them cry.
Same as its better to be peed off than peed on
Bob

[Agrippa]

In "Carry on Cowboy" shown last weekend Sid James was warning of a possible attack
by the indians. Someone said to him that the Sioux were now at peace, to which he
replied " One minute it's peace on, the next minute it's peace off ".

[port perran]

Talking of cattle :
Boy asks farmer - "why are some cows black, some white and some half white and half black?"
Answer - "The white ones are full of milk, the black ones are empty and the others are half full".

[Newportnobby]

Oh Bob - what have you started

Why do cows wear bells?......................................Because their horns don't work

[cycletrak9]

Back to pizzas

A Buddhist goes into a pizza restaurant as asks for a pizza. The waiter asks him what toppings he would like.

The Buddhist replies "Make me one with everything".

[mr magnolia]

and now back to the horses:

two horses standing in a field.
One said to the other one: 'i'm so hungry I could eat a horse'


the second horse said: 'Mooooo!!'

[Greybeema]

Horse walks into a bar.  The barman says "Why the long face?"....

[Agrippa]

From Bernard Manning on YouTube

An Irishman goes to a building site looking for work.

The foreman asks "Can you make tea ?"

The Irishman says "I make a lovely brew to be sure, sir"

The foreman asks "Can you drive a forklift?"

The Irishman then asks "What size is the ********** teapot?"

[cycletrak9]

the second horse said: 'Mooooo!!'

The late, great Tommy Cooper:

I was playing darts with a friend - he said "nearest bull for starters"

I said "Baaaa!"

He said "Moooo!"

I said "You're nearest"

[Komata]

'Oi...'

(With apologies to Flanagan and Allen).