We're on the verge of a possible crisis here in the Principality of Hook Norton.

I've been on tenterhooks for about 10 months trying to prepare for Christmas dinner.

In the good ol' days, you could plan this meal with ease. The culinary genius that was Sir Terry Wogan kept us all up to date with when the brussel sprouts should be put on to boil. Now he is sadly departed I've been struggling to organise the festive vegetables. In desperation I took to hedging my bets by putting multiple batches on to boil, two weeks apart starting on the 28th February. I figured four batches should cover the spread as it were.

Checking them today, the second batch was done perfectly, if not slightly overcooked, so we've had to eat them this evening. This only leaves batches three and four! Batch number one had to be scrapped a month ago as the pan I used couldn't cope with the prolonged usage and the side started to erode.

The problem is that I don't think batch three will be ready. Batch four doesn't stand a chance, I removed a sprout from the pot to try to cut it ( standard test procedure), despite sharpening my Robert Welch 6" cooks knife to a Samurai sword edge it wouldn't go through the sprout. Unfortunately I put more effort into it, the sprout ping'd free, ricocheted off the edge of the cooker hood, took out a LED light in the kitchen cluster and clocked Penfold on the back of his noggin whilst he was watching our other cat from the edge of the kitchen table.

So we now have a dint in the cooker hood, a dim kitchen, and a white and tabby moggy with a lump on his head and a mild concussion, and it looks like we'll have to eat broccoli with the turkey. BROCCOLI!!!

I'm not sure I'm going to cope with Christmas.

You've been sampling the mulled wine again, haven't you?

But your jovial missive sparks the muse in me.

An ode to the humble sprout.

Sprouts upon their growing stem
Or sprouts sold loose and free
And even sprouts inside a bag
- they all appeal to me

For sprouts have flavour all their own
And iron to build your muscles
And for reasons I do not understand
They all come here from Brussels

But Christmas would just not be the same
If sprouts weren't on the table
When all the family gather near
To share the Christmas fable.

For Christmas is a time to share
A time to laugh and shout
And nothing brings more festive cheer
Than a well cooked Brussels Sprout

Wishing you a sproutful Christmas.

I'm starting to wonder if the first name of the posters has any bearing on this subject
Some idiots are talking about doing away with meat owing to the vast amounts of methane created by the beasts giving us such lovely food, yet still shops are selling this potentially lethal vegetable.
There's no justice in this world

At 9.14pm on Christmas Eve antipodean time, this thread is giving me a brain fart 

I've doften wondered when eating a helping of sprouts, iis there any way of telling which one will make you fart?

Just a little light hearted buffoonery!

Idle hands etc., etc.,...

Quote from: Dorsetmike on December 24, 2019, 11:27:37 AM
I've doften wondered when eating a helping of sprouts, iis there any way of telling which one will make you fart?

The last one, always the last one. If you'd stopped one earlier you'd have been fine. I thought everyone knew that?

Quote from: emjaybee on December 24, 2019, 11:29:52 AM

Quote from: Dorsetmike on December 24, 2019, 11:27:37 AM
I've doften wondered when eating a helping of sprouts, iis there any way of telling which one will make you fart?

The last one, always the last one. If you'd stopped one earlier you'd have been fine. I thought everyone knew that?

Sorry, I have to disagree, it's the green one that does it.

Here you go - Season's Greetings!

Mike