Anyone fancy a new job ??

[Calnefoxile]

 
Just seen this on RMWeb https://www.rmweb.co.uk/community/index.php?/topic/156582-rapido-is-hiring-a-uk-operations-manager/

https://rapidotrains.com/content/rapido-careers

We're also hiring... A UK OPERATIONS MANAGER!

We are in the process of opening up our UK limited company and we are looking for an operations manager. This is a manager, right? Who's in charge of operations, right? Hence the name...

If you are the right person for this job, you have experience in the following areas:

·     Managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

·     Bookkeeping or basic accounting

·     Hating people who use apostrophes incorrectly

·     Logistics, such as warehousing and packing/posting of parcels

·     Banking, as in using a bank and not "going up an incline"

·     Actually, being able to go up an incline is an asset.

·     Managing a small team

·     Being extremely organised and managing your time efficaciously

·     Knowing what efficaciously means

·     Customer service and putting out fires (not literal fires, but it is helpful if you could put those out too in case we ever make a Class 28)

·     Starring as Doctor Who on television, provided you also have experience managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

If you have experience in the following areas, you need not apply:

·     Always - or even occasionally - or even once - referring to yourself as "one" like some toffee-nosed twit

·     Volunteering to be a crash test dummy

·     Being the COO of a £100 million company (you are overqualified)

·     Routinely - and successfully - performing brain surgery (you are qualified, but in the wrong field)

·     "Role playing" as an arsonist but accidentally burning down buildings for real

·     Stealing stuff

·     Lying, cheating, murdering and pillaging

We have to say that we are an "equal opportunity" employer. If you refer to yourself as "one" in the interview, we will absolutely consider you fairly and then absolutely not hire you.

Please reply to this email to submit your CV and cover letter, and we will send you a real job description. If you wish to apply by fax, please remember that our pages are shorter and fatter than yours so we can't read the teensy-tiny writing at the bottom of your page.

Incidentally, if your preferred method of communication is fax, please bear in mind that we are an "equal opportunity" employer.

Regards

Neal.

[Bealman]

Not sure what response you want to this post 

[Roy L S]

Love it, just brilliant!

[NinOz]

Well I won't bother to apply as I fail on a couple of criteria:


If you are the right person for this job, you have experience in the following areas:

·     Managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

·     Bookkeeping or basic accounting

·     Hating people who use apostrophes incorrectly

·     Logistics, such as warehousing and packing/posting of parcels

·     Banking, as in using a bank and not "going up an incline"

·     Actually, being able to go up an incline is an asset.

·     Managing a small team

·     Being extremely organised and managing your time efficaciously

·     Knowing what efficaciously means

·     Customer service and putting out fires (not literal fires, but it is helpful if you could put those out too in case we ever make a Class 28)

·     Starring as Doctor Who on television, provided you also have experience managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

If you have experience in the following areas, you need not apply:

·    Always - or even occasionally - or even once - referring to yourself as "one" like some toffee-nosed twit

·     Volunteering to be a crash test dummy

·     Being the COO of a £100 million company (you are overqualified)

·     Routinely - and successfully - performing brain surgery (you are qualified, but in the wrong field)

·     "Role playing" as an arsonist but accidentally burning down buildings for real

·     Stealing stuff

·     Lying, cheating, murdering and pillaging

[Newportnobby]

Great ad, and just shows they have a great sense of humour (with 2 x 'u's)
If I was many years younger I might even have applied.

[Calnefoxile]

Well I won't bother to apply as I fail on a couple of criteria:


·     Stealing stuff

·     Lying, cheating, murdering and pillaging

Is that why you're now in Oz 

Regards

Neal.

[Chuffington]

Being extremely organised and managing your time efficaciously

Well, that's me out...

[TrevL]

Reading between the lines, whoever gets the job, will probably be working by oneself.

[Bob G]

Well I won't bother to apply as I fail on a couple of criteria:


If you are the right person for this job, you have experience in the following areas:

·     Managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

·     Bookkeeping or basic accounting

·     Hating people who use apostrophes incorrectly

·     Logistics, such as warehousing and packing/posting of parcels

·     Banking, as in using a bank and not "going up an incline"

·     Actually, being able to go up an incline is an asset.

·     Managing a small team

·     Being extremely organised and managing your time efficaciously

·     Knowing what efficaciously means

·     Customer service and putting out fires (not literal fires, but it is helpful if you could put those out too in case we ever make a Class 28)

·     Starring as Doctor Who on television, provided you also have experience managing operations for a small- to medium-sized business

If you have experience in the following areas, you need not apply:

·    Always - or even occasionally - or even once - referring to yourself as "one" like some toffee-nosed twit

·     Volunteering to be a crash test dummy

·     Being the COO of a £100 million company (you are overqualified)

·     Routinely - and successfully - performing brain surgery (you are qualified, but in the wrong field)

·     "Role playing" as an arsonist but accidentally burning down buildings for real

·     Stealing stuff

·     Lying, cheating, murdering and pillaging

Not living in the UK is a major hurdle though. I don't think even equal opportunities employers can consider a permanent resident of Australia suitable for a job in the UK !!!