Much ado about not very much

port perran · July 09, 2018, 08:11:27 PM

A short story about mysterious and mischievous happenings in Tregonning in 1961.
This will not be an epic (as the Christmas tale) but will be related in short (dailyish) instalments over a week or so.

Tregonning main street - July 9th 1961
Villagers going about their daily business this morning were unaware of mysterious happenings early in the morning.
Mrs Baggs, a notorious village gossip, had made her way to the telephone box near the entrance ro Tregonning Creamery to make her weekly call, which she always made at 09-15am every Monday, to her sister in St Just.
On opening the door to the telephone kiosk, Mrs Baggs was aghast at what she saw.
Feeling quite faint and nauseous, she staggered across the road to the Creamery Shop where her friend Alice James worked. Mrs Baggs eventually managed to tell Alice what she had witnessed whereupon Alice immediately dialled 999.
After 10 minutes Sergeant Tom Reynolds, of Summertown Police Station arrived along with rookie PC Andrew (Cracker) Jacobs who has only been in the job 2 weeks.
This is the scene at 9-30 with Cracker Jacobs left to guard the telephone box with the words "No one ro go near" ringing in his ears uttered by an irritable Sargeant Reynolds who hurried across the road to interview Mrs Baggs.

Caz · July 09, 2018, 08:17:07 PM

OMG. When I moved here I vowed to stop watching soaps as they were ruling my life in the UK, everything revolved around watching the latest episode and so far I've managed not to get hooked again.

NOW I'm assaulted on the forum with a soap and I can't wait to hear what happens next, you are a naughty, naughty man Martyn.

Chris in Prague · July 09, 2018, 08:33:59 PM

Excellent. Many thanks, Martin. I hope the moderators won't object. 8-)

port perran · July 10, 2018, 12:05:22 PM

This is the somewhat congested scene some thirty minutes later

Sergeant Reynolds, somewhat exasperated, is leaving the creamery shop having interviewed Mrs Baggs. It transpires that when she entered the telephone box the receiver was hanging from it's hook and in its place was a rotting, very smelly haddock with a scrawled note simply saying "This fishes face looks like yours you nosey old bag".
Meanwhile DI Dave Skinner had arrived from Truro CID in his unmarked Ford Anglia but was having trouble getting into the telephone box to see for himself what was there. An implacable Constable Cracker Jacobs was refusing entry to all and sunder simply saying "Sarge Reynolds says no entry to anyone and as far as I'm concerned that means EVERYONE."
PC Jack Thomas has also arrived to direct traffic and Wally Perkins has also appeared, he being chief reporter for the Western Morning News.
All in all a busy scene the like of which hasn't been witnessed in Tregonning for many a year.

weave · July 10, 2018, 12:22:40 PM

Hi Martin,

Was going to reply yesterday with a joke about finding a pasty with carrots in it but thought better of it.

However, today Haddock. Interesting, intriguing and hopefully sinister although you did say it was just mysterious and mischievous.

Cheers weave

port perran · July 10, 2018, 12:32:19 PM

Quote from: weave on July 10, 2018, 12:22:40 PM
Hi Martin,

Was going to reply yesterday with a joke about finding a pasty with carrots in it but thought better of it.

However, today Haddock. Interesting, intriguing and hopefully sinister although you did say it was just mysterious and mischievous.

Cheers weave

I hadn't thought about a pasty with carrots in. I'm sure that if Mrs Baggs had found that she would have collapsed on the spot!

Chris in Prague · July 10, 2018, 01:54:18 PM

Excellent, Martin. Good to see some of the duplicate policemen I painted in action.

talisman56 · July 10, 2018, 06:58:04 PM

...and there I was thinking that the poor old dear's sensibilities had been upset by someone using the box in its alternative function...

I mean, the 'Railway Inn' is just next door...

Jerry Howlett · July 10, 2018, 08:32:57 PM

This is a ridiculous post.... Can't wait for the next episode.

Jerry

Caz · July 10, 2018, 08:35:16 PM

Quote from: Jerry Howlett on July 10, 2018, 08:32:57 PM
This is a ridiculous post.... Can't wait for the next episode.

Jerry

Me too.

Jerry Howlett · July 10, 2018, 08:39:23 PM

Quote from: Caz on July 10, 2018, 08:35:16 PM
Quote from: Jerry Howlett on July 10, 2018, 08:32:57 PM
This is a ridiculous post.... Can't wait for the next episode.

Jerry

As you said Caz , us Ex pats have given up on Soaps and then one comes along that you have to watch..

Me too.

cornish yorkie · July 10, 2018, 10:47:33 PM

Many thanks Martin, waiting patiently for the next episode
regards Derek.

port perran · July 11, 2018, 03:59:00 PM

[Model Railway Club, allotment then World Cup today so only a very small episode to keep the story going]

DI Skinner eventually managed to get past young Cracker to the phone box but only after mentioning things like Chief Constable and proomotion opportunities.
Skinner opened the door had a look around then reappeared slowly shaking his head and muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
"I've driven here from Truro and missed my breakfast all for a smelly old haddock, you have to be kidding me" he said, calmly. "Where is the silly old bat that reported this as an emegency of the utmost importance?"
"She's still in the Creamery Shop" replied Constable Jacobs.
"Right" said Skinner, "Take me to her. She and I need to have a few words"........

Chris in Prague · July 11, 2018, 05:09:39 PM

Excellent, Martin. I had a break from my academic tasks and wrote an update to the long-running saga which I'll be posting on Cant Cove, soon. However, I've promised my Slovak friends to watch (most unusual for me) England play, this evening.

Good to 'see' that D.I. Skinner is back.

joe cassidy · July 11, 2018, 08:21:28 PM

Cornish voodoo?