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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: findus on July 30, 2011, 02:55:26 PM

Title: Stag party....
Post by: findus on July 30, 2011, 02:55:26 PM
Tonight is my stag party and dont have a clue as to what my best man and mates have arraged.

What did you guys do for your stag party? do i need to be scared?

:-\ :-\
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: poliss on July 30, 2011, 03:00:09 PM
Another one bites the dust.

Throughout the ages, men have been trying to unlock the mystery as to why their wives who accepted them as they were before, they got their behavior and life-style changed once their vows were exchanged.

Finally, the riddle was solved. A social-scientist arrived at a simple and logical conclusion.

When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process where the brain absorbs these three stimuli: aisle, altar, hymn, begins. She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions: aisle, altar, hymn . . . aisle, altar, hymn . . . aisle, altar, hymn . . . . . . . .

Then finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is completed.

She looks up at him lovingly, smiling sweetly and thinks, 'I'll alter him.'




Myself, been married three times. Haven't had a stag party yet.
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Tank on July 30, 2011, 03:01:57 PM
Mine lasted three days.  I was picked up by my best man, met all the other guys, then drove miles to a National Trust cabin.  We had a chilled out evening getting bladdered.  The next morning I was dressed up as a Stag, and then went Paintballing!!!!!  Great I thought - as I used to be in a team, so am pretty good.  However, I didn't realise I'd be running for my life with 65 guns/markers shooting at me, and I was unarmed.  I was bleeding from being hit so much, and had 41 bruises just on my front!!!!!  Agony.  Then I forgot the rest, as I was given non stop alcohol.  I know we ended up in a club, and I was really sick....everywhere.  No strippers sadly.  :D
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Newportnobby on July 30, 2011, 03:07:20 PM
Quote from: findus on July 30, 2011, 02:55:26 PM
Tonight is my stag party and dont have a clue as to what my best man and mates have arraged.

What did you guys do for your stag party? do i need to be scared?

:-\ :-\

Hey Findus - I'm sure you'll survive whatever horrors lurk in wait :evil:
Assuming you do survive - when's the happy day??
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Lawrence on July 30, 2011, 03:44:39 PM
Last one I was at, we tied the stag to a lampost outside a pub in St Andrews, then someone whipped his trousers and boxers down!  then a group of unrelated but equally as inebriated lads came past and one stuck his betting slip between the cheeks of his derrier!  someone else then decide to light said betting slip  ::), and I'm ruddy sure I wasn't going to blow it out  :o  he then got soaked with the remnants of several pints to prevent 2nd degree burns to his bum.  I believe he ended up on a train to Edinburgh.
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: poliss on July 30, 2011, 03:53:00 PM
If you can't remember everything Tank, how do you know there weren't any strippers?  ;)
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Tank on July 30, 2011, 05:27:55 PM
Very true Poliss!  :)  I've been told in numerous conversations since that there were none.   :P
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Lawrence on July 30, 2011, 10:42:56 PM
Just wondering what kind of state findus is in right now  :smiley-laughing: :smiley-laughing:
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Newportnobby on July 30, 2011, 10:52:40 PM
Quote from: Lawrence on July 30, 2011, 10:42:56 PM
Just wondering what kind of state findus is in right now  :smiley-laughing: :smiley-laughing:
I have the feeling he'll be off his head and won't know what state he's in - bless ;D
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: longbridge on July 30, 2011, 11:40:13 PM
Always good fun to strip the groom and tie him to a telegraph pole leaving him there until 8am on the Sunday morning, this happened to my Brother in Law.
Don't know what the little old ladies though on their way to church. ??? ???
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: OwL on July 31, 2011, 02:07:16 AM
Lampost time for Findus about now (02.06am GMT) :-*
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: poliss on July 31, 2011, 02:17:36 AM
Doubt if we'll ever see poor old Findus again. Not for ten years anyway. :-)
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: OwL on July 31, 2011, 02:28:49 AM
Quote from: poliss on July 31, 2011, 02:17:36 AM
Doubt if we'll ever see poor old Findus again. Not for ten years anyway. :-)

Doubt it...........He's on police/camera/action at moment. From what I can tell, the police are trying to work out why he is tied to a lampost, dressed in a pink sailor suit with a 'blow up Burt Reynolds doll with vibrating moustache' tied to his left big toe? I bloody love ITV3, it's amazing what you can watch on normal TV these days  :smiley-laughing:

Only joking Findus :smiley-laughing: All the best mate, have a drink for me :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: cloughie on July 31, 2011, 06:07:43 AM
poliss, all I can say is have you got a fetish for wedding cake or what :o

as for findus, I shall miss the lad :'(
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: lesmond on July 31, 2011, 10:27:48 AM
Ah poor findus.. maybe we should have a memorial thread in his honour..

I was involved in several escapades as a younger man, the worst / best one involved the groom to be escaping the rest of us, and vanishing in a taxi to parts unknown. Reckoning he had to come home sooner or later, we all went back to his mums house (she was on holiday) to await our victim for the customary strip / tie naked to lampost / cover in anything handy / leave for the night / rescue before the police arrived (or not).

He was a bit cleverer than us though, and sneaked into the house unheard around 3.30 am, by which time the rest of us, 10 or so, were mostly dozing in his mums front room, in the dark. He then opened the door, threw in a fairly big banger (a firework which looks like a small stick of dynamite, and was then very illegal in N Ireland, for obvious reasons), and closed the door. The resulting explosion set the carpet on fire, not to mention wakening us all up, and great hilarity resulted in trying to stamp out the spreading flames with ringing heads (not helped by lots and lots of beer) and no hearing. Once the blaze was out, we found him hiding in the outside loo (the stifled giggling gave him away) and carried out the original plan. We didn't go near the house for a few weeks (his mum was a scary woman), but to cover the big hole in the carpet our hero bought a big rug for the middle of the floor. This cunning plan did not, however, work  ;D
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: findus on July 31, 2011, 11:10:48 AM
Im alive im alive im alive  ;D

Now the bad part!

I have been sat in the middle of the junction 13, not out of choise! i was gaffer tapped to a chair.

And the note read, this poor mans life has been taken away by the the one and only......WOMAN.

im now trying to get the paint out of my hair  :thumbsdown:

the police were nice enought they gave me a silver blanket to use.

oh and a room for the night, and a yellow ticket to say well done!

well really it was a warning ::)
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: cloughie on July 31, 2011, 11:20:13 AM
best thing for you findus is the hair of the dog, 8 shots of brandy in a pint glass, topped up with full fat coke
cloughie
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: findus on July 31, 2011, 11:24:06 AM
Quote from: cloughie on July 31, 2011, 11:20:13 AM
best thing for you findus is the hair of the dog, 8 shots of brandy in a pint glass, topped up with full fat coke
cloughie

the brandy sounds good  :thumbsup:  but will give the dog hair a miss i think  :smiley-laughing:
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Newportnobby on July 31, 2011, 04:02:18 PM
Quote from: findus on July 31, 2011, 11:24:06 AM
Quote from: cloughie on July 31, 2011, 11:20:13 AM
best thing for you findus is the hair of the dog, 8 shots of brandy in a pint glass, topped up with full fat coke
cloughie

the brandy sounds good  :thumbsup:  but will give the dog hair a miss i think  :smiley-laughing:
Congratulations on surviving :thumbsup: I guess we'll never hear the full gruesome details or see any pics. How's your head :beers:
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: moogle on July 31, 2011, 07:08:17 PM
Quote from: newportnobby on July 31, 2011, 04:02:18 PM
Quote from: findus on July 31, 2011, 11:24:06 AM
Quote from: cloughie on July 31, 2011, 11:20:13 AM
best thing for you findus is the hair of the dog, 8 shots of brandy in a pint glass, topped up with full fat coke
cloughie

the brandy sounds good  :thumbsup:  but will give the dog hair a miss i think  :smiley-laughing:
Congratulations on surviving :thumbsup: I guess we'll never hear the full gruesome details or see any pics. How's your head :beers:

Dont be so sure! Junction 13 probably has cctv so keep an eye on ITV3...  ;D
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: fisherman on July 31, 2011, 07:55:10 PM
hope they don't tie him to the front of Tornado ans see if he can imitate a chime whistle...
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Lawrence on July 31, 2011, 09:32:48 PM
Glad you enjoyed it mate  :thumbsup: your stags sound like a right good bunch of lads.

I'm sure the local constabulary just had a busy night, a donation of a couple of tins of biccies to the shift room often doesn't go amiss after a night like yours  ;)
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: Newportnobby on July 31, 2011, 09:39:47 PM
Quote from: Lawrence on July 31, 2011, 09:32:48 PM
a donation of a couple of tins of biccies to the shift room often doesn't go amiss after a night like yours  ;)

That's if you can get them off Cloughie ;D
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: cloughie on August 01, 2011, 06:37:59 AM
a donation of a couple of tins of biccies to the shift room often doesn't go amiss after a night like yours. 
Lawrence, do you know this from past experience, your photos show that butter would not melt in your mouth :angel: you little devil you :evil:

newportnobby, if they were hobnobs I would defend them to the bitter end, drool

I refuse to believe there are no  :camera:

cloughie
Title: Re: Stag party....
Post by: lesmond on August 01, 2011, 08:40:19 PM
Quote from: Lawrence on July 31, 2011, 09:32:48 PM
Glad you enjoyed it mate  :thumbsup: your stags sound like a right good bunch of lads.

I'm sure the local constabulary just had a busy night, a donation of a couple of tins of biccies to the shift room often doesn't go amiss after a night like yours  ;)

Never fails, same works in the local recycling centre to gain access to the treasure in the skips... ;D