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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Agrippa on May 29, 2013, 10:07:57 AM

Title: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 29, 2013, 10:07:57 AM
Some recent guff from football commentators and "journalists"

Chick Young "There's a great gaping gap in the Aberdeen defence"

and "He's broken away, its now one to one against three defenders"

And a presenter (can't remember who) discussing Rafa Benitez
taking Chelsea to win the Europa cup " That's another trophy in his armoury"
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Chetcombe on May 30, 2013, 04:12:38 AM
And a few more...


He's a player you only miss when he's not playing
Graham Taylor

We are not as good we think we are.  We need to go out and prove that
Steve McClaren

Fourth spot is what we are aiming for.  We don't want to be second best
Phil Neville

Gary Neville was the captain and now Ryan Giggs has taken on the mantelpiece
Rio Ferdinand

Football is like a roundabout. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you're down
Radio 5 Live reporter
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Sprintex on May 30, 2013, 04:57:51 AM
Classic from "whispering" Ted Lowe on the snooker years ago:

"Good red there, he's going for the pink into the bottom pocket, and those of you watching in black and white it's the one behind the blue" :D


Paul
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Pengi on May 30, 2013, 06:54:05 AM
I remember Kevin Keegan's

'My father was a miner and he worked down a mine'
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Newportnobby on May 30, 2013, 07:50:59 AM
Another Colemanball

"He's opened his legs and shown his class" - referring to a long distance runner
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 30, 2013, 08:05:06 AM
And there was the classic many years ago from the boat race commentator
"I can't see who's in front, but it's either Oxford or Cambridge"...... :D
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: port perran on May 30, 2013, 08:11:07 AM
And of course the great Cricket classic......"The Batsman's Holding the Bowler's Willey".
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 30, 2013, 09:07:21 AM
Quote from: port perran on May 30, 2013, 08:11:07 AM
And of course the great Cricket classic......"The Batsman's Holding the Bowler's Willey".

The best of them all!
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: scotsoft on May 30, 2013, 10:17:09 AM
I can't post the ones I have in a Word document, as they are too rude, but if anyone would like a copy PM me and I will attach the Word document to a PM  ;)

cheers John.
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 30, 2013, 10:36:30 AM
Just heard a cor blimey  geezer phoning Talksport and moaning
about Chelsea taking part in some match in the USA, he said
they were doing it " just to put more coffers on their pot".
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Newportnobby on May 30, 2013, 12:37:37 PM
Quote from: Agrippa on May 30, 2013, 09:07:21 AM
Quote from: port perran on May 30, 2013, 08:11:07 AM
And of course the great Cricket classic......"The Batsman's Holding the Bowler's Willey".

The best of them all!

Think I prefer the one "He's just gone for a slash outside the off stump" ;D
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: EtchedPixels on May 30, 2013, 04:04:03 PM
There a couple other infamous cricket ones my favourite being 'standing legs wide apart waiting for a tickle'

I remember the snooker black and white one.. getting old.

Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Mark K on May 30, 2013, 04:33:40 PM
I was a radio presenter for BBC Radio Oxford for 18 years and have to confess to a few ColemanBalls meself - "the meeting of Common Market ministers has been postponed for two months because of the French Presidential erection...election" being my worst. But half the time these are pre-planned and I would guess that 'The hatsman's Holding etc' was one that Jono and the rest of that marvelous cricket comentary team had been dying to be able to use for a long time. There was, quiet often, a little side bet as well, just to add a bit of spice. 
We would pull any such gaffs off the recording machine (there was always one recording live programmes) and add them to the 'Odds and Sods' tape.
Halcyon days.

Mark K
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: edwin_m on May 30, 2013, 05:13:17 PM
A non-sporting one I heard a few years back was "derailing the road map before it got off the ground".  I thought I imagined it at the time but it's mentioned here:

http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/11366/the-rising-tide-of-clichs/ (http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/11366/the-rising-tide-of-clichs/)
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Greybeema on May 30, 2013, 05:24:27 PM
There used to be a challenge for the Captain of the Irish Rugby Squad to get a phrase chosen by the team into the TV post match interview.

As once uttered by Brian O'Driscoll to the BBC after a match:-
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad"..
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 31, 2013, 12:41:37 PM
In a broadcast years ago, maybe Question Time or similar an opposition MP
accused the government of trying to "Sweep this white elephant under the carpet".
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Lawrence on May 31, 2013, 01:05:21 PM
Quote from: Agrippa on May 29, 2013, 10:07:57 AM
Some recent guff from football commentators and "journalists"

Chick Young "There's a great gaping gap in the Aberdeen defence"


There's a great gaping gap between that wee tubes ears, one of the most ignorant, incompetent and biased reporters in sports broadcasting, surpassed only by Jim Traynor  :veryangry:
Title: Re: Colemanballs
Post by: Agrippa on May 31, 2013, 08:26:55 PM
When Rangers won the league in Walter Smith's final season wee Chick
ran breathlessly to slobber over him , didn't even mention that his own  team
(St Mirren) had escaped relegation. With the demise of Rangers he now slobbers
over Neil Lennon.

I've heard better commentaries from yobs in pubs than from Chick.

I've met him a couple of times in a non football situation (friend of a friend)
and he's  one of the dullest characters imaginable.