Robot uprising!!!

[emjaybee]

Be advised:

The robot uprising is real, I say again, the robot uprising is real, take whatever precautions you feel are necessary!

Here's two scouts going out on patrol...





Here's one of their commanders giving a briefing prior to an assault...



Here they are massing for an assault on an unsuspecting SUV...



You have been warned, take whatever steps you can to protect you and your loved ones. They are not invincible, I did spot one stuck in a hedge where it had strayed onto a sloping verge.

They are quite sneaky and may try to lure you in with promises of nourishment.

At this point it may also be advisable to be nice to your appliances until we establish whose side they are on.

Briefing ends..

[guest311]

the order has gone out ...

"LOCK AND LOAD"

any attack by these sneaky types will be met with extreme prejudiced 

there is no need for them to approach my home .... with their promises of nourishment

I go and get my take-aways myself 

[guest311]

I suspect the increase in household and garden appliances that are wi-fi enabled.

this is obviously how they pass intel and receive their orders.

I have checked my appliances, and they all only have a three wire connection to the mains. this hopefully will keep my family safe.

[Jack]

@class37025
Put the .50 cal away, one round 7.62 each will be enough!! 

[guest311]

@Jack

oh no..

I've seen terminator, I want to be sure that when they go down, they stay down 

they may even have kevlar panels 

maybe an M72 would be a better choice 

[RailGooner]

Amazon had better fit them with submersable GPS before they introduce them in Manchester! 


If you don't get it, just search "Mobike Manchester".

[emjaybee]

I suspect the increase in household and garden appliances that are wi-fi enabled.

this is obviously how they pass intel and receive their orders.

I have checked my appliances, and they all only have a three wire connection to the mains. this hopefully will keep my family safe.

Hmm, so they are connected to the grid then, much like Skynet...

...I'm sure you've nothing to worry about.

As regards lifting them, apparently they scream blue murder if they're picked up.

[guest311]

if the washing machine starts saying "let's play a game" I can assure you I will be moving straight to DEFCON-1 

[guest311]

I suspect the increase in household and garden appliances that are wi-fi enabled.

this is obviously how they pass intel and receive their orders.

I have checked my appliances, and they all only have a three wire connection to the mains. this hopefully will keep my family safe.

Hmm, so they are connected to the grid then, much like Skynet...

...I'm sure you've nothing to worry about.

As regards lifting them, apparently they scream blue murder if they're picked up.

ahhh, I had not thought of that .......

connected via a smart meter that, while it cannot manage to pass your meter readings, is continually in contact with the washing machine, microwave oven, and lawn mower [reporting changes in external defences] and updating it's attack plans..

I may need to rethink the defences, luckily the grandsons will be over at the weekend, and they are always looking for jobs to earn spending money 

so an anti tank ditch around the property with a flame fougasse with 5B might at least keep the intruders out, but it's those pesky household appliances that need to be under constant surveillance..

a job for HB 

[Jack]

if the washing machine starts saying "let's play a game" I can assure you I will be moving straight to DEFCON-1 

Wow!! That film quote from WarGames goes back a good few years, early 80's I think, and that nuclear "game" ended in stalemate thankfully!

[Jon898]

Are you channeling your inner Malkovich?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HXgPGZcXe4&list=PLZbXA4lyCtqpoYG_5y6hS1dUE0ZaXnilr&index=3

[guest311]

ok, yes I am showing my age maturity 

[guest311]

Are you channeling your inner Malkovich?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HXgPGZcXe4&list=PLZbXA4lyCtqpoYG_5y6hS1dUE0ZaXnilr&index=3

as they say....

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean to say they aren't out to get you 

[grumbeast]

Ok, I'll bite, what are they?

[emjaybee]

Ok, I'll bite, what are they?

Oh, sorry. They're grocery delivery robots. They operate in certain areas in Milton Keynes. These particular ones are linked with a Co-Op store in West Bletchley. You go online, order your delivery, they turn up at your house and you have an app on your phone which unlocks them to allow you to retrieve your order.

They have GPS, obviously, can detect cars/vehicles/pedestrians 360deg. They wait until its safe to cross a road, will stop to allow pedestrians to pass etc.

Just the thing when you're too idle to walk to the shop for fags and a beer.