25 Adult Truths

Dorsetmike · October 29, 2014, 03:56:08 PM

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I bet on any given Friday or Saturday more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. As soon as you find something at the grocery store that you really like, they will either move it or the company will discontinue it.

24. The driving of all the other people on the road has become markedly worse in the past few years.

25. The first testicular guard, the ⤽Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

And lastly:
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to pass gas. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my releases to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod with headphones.... and how was your day???

Oldun · October 29, 2014, 04:51:45 PM

Quote from: Dorsetmike on October 29, 2014, 03:56:08 PM
And lastly:
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to pass gas. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my releases to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod with headphones.... and how was your day???

Read that out to SWMBO, it had her in tears of laughter

Roger

petercharlesfagg · October 29, 2014, 05:55:05 PM

You only have to change a few of the words to English and it takes on a whole new meaning, although, I cannot decipher number 6! "Cursive"

keithfre · October 29, 2014, 06:28:45 PM

Quote from: petercharlesfagg on October 29, 2014, 05:55:05 PM
You only have to change a few of the words to English and it takes on a whole new meaning, although, I cannot decipher number 6! "Cursive"

I'm wondering about that too. I would guess it means 'joined-up handwriting'.

Dorsetmike · October 29, 2014, 06:37:36 PM

Correct re cursive; (when in doubt Google)

Oldun · October 29, 2014, 06:57:00 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursive

Roger

austinbob · October 29, 2014, 07:16:49 PM

Quote from: Oldun on October 29, 2014, 06:57:00 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursive

Roger

I think cursive is more a US than UK word. Looking at some of the text in the original post I suspect it might be of US origin. - Sorry if I'm stating the obvious

Malc · October 29, 2014, 11:21:15 PM

It's from the Latin "cursus" which means "running" , meaning you don't lift the pen off the paper - so a good old English word.

ThePurplePrimer · October 29, 2014, 11:24:52 PM

I can relate to 18 and 24

Actually it's been a while since I took my test and I wondered when using indicators actually became optional ?

Bealman · October 30, 2014, 01:03:37 AM

Up in the NE kids would say "Can you do runny writing yet? I can. Nah nah"

Bealman · October 30, 2014, 04:24:59 AM

Quote from: ThePurplePrimer on October 29, 2014, 11:24:52 PM
I can relate to 18 and 24

Actually it's been a while since I took my test and I wondered when using indicators actually became optional ?

Probably the same time that driving in a shopping centre car park like you're out on the motorway... and they don't use indicators in the car park either.

You just have to look at the blank expressions that say, "Oh I'm in a carpark! Road rules don't apply here...."