It's okay not to feel great..

[emjaybee]

My best friend phoned me on Sunday.

It wasn't a great call, he told me his brother took his own life at the weekend. I knew his brother. He was a nice guy, always ready to help anyone, had a wife, two teenage boys and a good job. No one suspected anything was wrong. He was surrounded by a caring family and friends who would have done anything to help him. No one knew anything was wrong.

A few years ago I lost a very good friend to suicide as well. Again, no one knew anything was wrong. Again, he was surrounded by a caring family and friends who would have done anything to help.

The damage to those left behind is immeasurable. The pain, anger, guilt, confusion is horrible.

It's okay to not feel great. It's okay to worry. It's okay to feel under pressure.

It's also okay to talk about it. It's okay to tell people how you feel. If you haven't spoken to a friend in a while, call them, pop round for a cuppa. If you're not feeling great about life, tell someone, whether it's a friend, a stranger, or an organisation. There's always help available.

As blokes we're not great at talking. But that one conversation, it may be uncomfortable, could save a life, it could stop a family being devastated.

Look after yourselves. Look after others.

[Bob G]

Emjaybee is absolutely right. I feel the guilt every day for not contacting an ex girlfriend who needed me.

I'd had a cycling accident, and knocked out my two front teeth. Out of the blue, I got a letter from my ex (it was the 1980s. No mobile phones here).

She asked how I was, and if I could write back or call. My pride kicked in and as I didn't want her to know I was missing my teeth, I didn't reply. Six months later I learned she had taken her own life a few weeks later.

I have tried to get it out of my head, but it is still there. After many years I tried to contact her younger sister, to let her know how stupid I had been, and how remorseful I was. No reply of course.

So do what Emjaybee says.
Look after yourselves.
Look after others.