Stag party....

findus · July 30, 2011, 02:55:26 PM

Tonight is my stag party and dont have a clue as to what my best man and mates have arraged.

What did you guys do for your stag party? do i need to be scared?

$:-\$ $:-\$

poliss · July 30, 2011, 03:00:09 PM

Another one bites the dust.

Throughout the ages, men have been trying to unlock the mystery as to why their wives who accepted them as they were before, they got their behavior and life-style changed once their vows were exchanged.

Finally, the riddle was solved. A social-scientist arrived at a simple and logical conclusion.

When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process where the brain absorbs these three stimuli: aisle, altar, hymn, begins. She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions: aisle, altar, hymn . . . aisle, altar, hymn . . . aisle, altar, hymn . . . . . . . .

Then finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is completed.

She looks up at him lovingly, smiling sweetly and thinks, 'I'll alter him.'

Myself, been married three times. Haven't had a stag party yet.

Tank · July 30, 2011, 03:01:57 PM

Mine lasted three days. I was picked up by my best man, met all the other guys, then drove miles to a National Trust cabin. We had a chilled out evening getting bladdered. The next morning I was dressed up as a Stag, and then went Paintballing!!!!! Great I thought - as I used to be in a team, so am pretty good. However, I didn't realise I'd be running for my life with 65 guns/markers shooting at me, and I was unarmed. I was bleeding from being hit so much, and had 41 bruises just on my front!!!!! Agony. Then I forgot the rest, as I was given non stop alcohol. I know we ended up in a club, and I was really sick....everywhere. No strippers sadly.

Newportnobby · July 30, 2011, 03:07:20 PM

Quote from: findus on July 30, 2011, 02:55:26 PM
Tonight is my stag party and dont have a clue as to what my best man and mates have arraged.

What did you guys do for your stag party? do i need to be scared?

$:-\$ $:-\$

Hey Findus - I'm sure you'll survive whatever horrors lurk in wait

Assuming you do survive - when's the happy day??

Lawrence · July 30, 2011, 03:44:39 PM

Last one I was at, we tied the stag to a lampost outside a pub in St Andrews, then someone whipped his trousers and boxers down! then a group of unrelated but equally as inebriated lads came past and one stuck his betting slip between the cheeks of his derrier! someone else then decide to light said betting slip

, and I'm ruddy sure I wasn't going to blow it out

he then got soaked with the remnants of several pints to prevent 2nd degree burns to his bum. I believe he ended up on a train to Edinburgh.

poliss · July 30, 2011, 03:53:00 PM

If you can't remember everything Tank, how do you know there weren't any strippers?

Tank · July 30, 2011, 05:27:55 PM

Very true Poliss!

I've been told in numerous conversations since that there were none.

Lawrence · July 30, 2011, 10:42:56 PM

Just wondering what kind of state findus is in right now

Newportnobby · July 30, 2011, 10:52:40 PM

Quote from: Lawrence on July 30, 2011, 10:42:56 PM
Just wondering what kind of state findus is in right now

I have the feeling he'll be off his head and won't know what state he's in - bless

longbridge · July 30, 2011, 11:40:13 PM

Always good fun to strip the groom and tie him to a telegraph pole leaving him there until 8am on the Sunday morning, this happened to my Brother in Law.
Don't know what the little old ladies though on their way to church.

OwL · July 31, 2011, 02:07:16 AM

Lampost time for Findus about now (02.06am GMT)

poliss · July 31, 2011, 02:17:36 AM

Doubt if we'll ever see poor old Findus again. Not for ten years anyway. :-)

OwL · July 31, 2011, 02:28:49 AM

Quote from: poliss on July 31, 2011, 02:17:36 AM
Doubt if we'll ever see poor old Findus again. Not for ten years anyway. :-)

Doubt it...........He's on police/camera/action at moment. From what I can tell, the police are trying to work out why he is tied to a lampost, dressed in a pink sailor suit with a 'blow up Burt Reynolds doll with vibrating moustache' tied to his left big toe? I bloody love ITV3, it's amazing what you can watch on normal TV these days

Only joking Findus

All the best mate, have a drink for me

cloughie · July 31, 2011, 06:07:43 AM

poliss, all I can say is have you got a fetish for wedding cake or what

as for findus, I shall miss the lad :'(

lesmond · July 31, 2011, 10:27:48 AM

Ah poor findus.. maybe we should have a memorial thread in his honour..

I was involved in several escapades as a younger man, the worst / best one involved the groom to be escaping the rest of us, and vanishing in a taxi to parts unknown. Reckoning he had to come home sooner or later, we all went back to his mums house (she was on holiday) to await our victim for the customary strip / tie naked to lampost / cover in anything handy / leave for the night / rescue before the police arrived (or not).

He was a bit cleverer than us though, and sneaked into the house unheard around 3.30 am, by which time the rest of us, 10 or so, were mostly dozing in his mums front room, in the dark. He then opened the door, threw in a fairly big banger (a firework which looks like a small stick of dynamite, and was then very illegal in N Ireland, for obvious reasons), and closed the door. The resulting explosion set the carpet on fire, not to mention wakening us all up, and great hilarity resulted in trying to stamp out the spreading flames with ringing heads (not helped by lots and lots of beer) and no hearing. Once the blaze was out, we found him hiding in the outside loo (the stifled giggling gave him away) and carried out the original plan. We didn't go near the house for a few weeks (his mum was a scary woman), but to cover the big hole in the carpet our hero bought a big rug for the middle of the floor. This cunning plan did not, however, work